Sunday mornings and anxiety

It’s been a while (again) since I have actually sat down and written something, so here I go again with my ranting about things.

One thing, in particular.

So I’ve had to buy my tickets to fly back home yesterday, and trust me, it was no fun. Although I love traveling and I have zero issues with getting on a plane, the whole planning process before it’s a hell of a nightmare.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, it’s called Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it affects roughly about 30% of adults in their life and it basically generates excessive worrying, restlessness, muscle tension, and the symptoms usually appear during minor matters, such as, in this case, buying plane tickets.

For those of you already familiar with lovely feeling, welcome aboard, I salute you!

So, back to the point in question.

At some point yesterday afternoon I decided that it’s actually time to buy my tickets to fly home ( *la best friend is getting maaaaarried*) before they got expensive af and I was already planning this scenario in my head:

  1. Check the bank account
  2. Double-check the days you’ve booked off work
  3. Check the calendar – again
  4. Open Skyscanner
  5. Oh wait, I need to re-check the days I actually will fly out
  6. Also, where should I fly? Cluj or Debrecen? Which one is closer?
  7. Is it going to be too expensive?
  8. Breathe, breathe, breathe
  9. You’re doing fine.
  10. Breathe, breathe, breathe
  11. You can get these tickets, you’ve done it a million times before
  12. Okay, fine, let’s do this.

And then, my heart started racing like crazy, my palms were sweaty and I decided to just close off the web browser. But then I realised I ACTUALLY NEEDED TO BUY THE TICKETS, so back to the matter at hand.

After carefully calculating how much would it cost me to buy separately the tickets: one way and then return compared to a return ticket and checking the landing times, I decided I will just be reckless and book the tickets, hoping that all the personal details entered were correct and that the departing and landing times match the days in the calendar.

So, one hour and twenty minutes later, my heart stopped racing, the tickets were bought. (*YAY*). I informed la bestie that pretty much is everything sorted and that was it.

I know that this sounds a little bit exaggerating to some of you, but this is how it genuinely feels to do some of the little things in life.

For some, is just as easy as breathing, but for others, it can get quite stressful.

Are any of you feeling the same when booking traveling tickets? What is your thought process? I would love to find out!

In the mean time, just breathe.

Love,

Csilla x

Travel Trip Map Direction Exploration Planning Concept

 

Demons.

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Stalker Demon by FPesantez

There are howls in the darkness of the night that no one hears.They roam the forest and cover its trees with burning desires of hope and passion in the fading attempt of being heard by somebody.  The wild beasts are coming out and the clarity of the moon slowly starts fading.

It’s another cloudy night, with icy wind blowing and impregnating the air with a negative charge. There’s something hiding in the darkness, moving calmly, barely making any noise.The silence is mortuary, but the beasts are waiting for the signal to attack and shatter the demon that’s haunting around. The demon is cunning and moves swiftly, leaving no traces of its presence and the beasts can’t come out. It’s a malicious foreplay, a taunting invite to war. There’s stalling and pushing forward, there’s fire and explosions, there’s gunpowder and ache. 

Nothing really happened. The illusion of movement is designed in the thickness of the fog, combining art with majesty, hypocrisy with evil, blood with love, sins with pleasures. The beasts are baffled by the brilliance with which the demon has worked its way around the forest, how it twilled frames of memories and events, curled veins of feelings filled with truth and misleads. 

The tension has been building up for some time and the forest has gotten used to it. It seemed almost impossible for it to remain sustainable and the forest had left it grow slowly and uncontrollable. However, the demon knew that its artful way of building tension will be successful in the forest for the beasts were dormant and quiet, without a single care of the changing world. 

The demon is ready. Ready to unleash its untangled arms over the innocuously of the forest takes the first step and whips the branches violently, waiting for them to bleed uncontrollably to death.

To be continued…