Not so late-night thoughts


It feels like forever since I last posted something that was going through my mind. But tonight, it feels more like I have several levels of thoughts going on.

Firstly, I am finally coming to terms with the fact that the world is not as lovely as I thought and that you can find mean people everywhere. But that doesn’t mean that you have to stop working for your dreams or that you have to outwit someone just to feel better.

As human beings, I believe we have to be better everyday. Better to each other, better at doing things, better at believing in ourselves. Because if we are not better, then what is there left for us?  For the past few years everything has been changing at an increasing speed – sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I never thought I would experience a world where there is war, a world where innocent people are being hurt, but oh, I was so naive. I grew up believing that everybody has something good and positive to offer.  I thought everybody had a story that can teach us something meaningful and good, but now, as I am in my almost mid 20s, I realise that we’ve become so selfish and we’ve put aside our sense of loving and caring and made space for fights that shouldn’t be fought or for technology that should bring us closer rather than divide us.

Then, there is other thing.

I realised I have stopped doing the things I liked because I was to busy to live. Not to necessarily enjoy the life, but to live as plainly and as ordinarily as possible. I became the person I promised never to become: dull, caught in the daily routine, too tired to smile a little more. But now, I’ve made a promise to myself,one that will get me through the days with a meaning, with a true meaning. I will enjoy more sunrises and rains, more outdoor activities, more books, more time spent with friends and family.

We are often stuck in this circle of life and it takes quite some time to realise we haven’t exactly achieved something. I think that the true meaning of having lived is when you wake up in the morning and no matter how many responsibilities lie ahead, you can smile and believe in yourself.

That’s the most important part; being at peace with yourself, with what you can offer and with how you can become a better person.

Oh, and did I mention that sometimes the people around you are those who can make you feel better?

Those who believe in your ideals, those who help you achieve your dreams, those who stand by you no matter what. They say a flower doesn’t ask another flower when it blooms, it just does and that’s what we should remember, too.


At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many likes and shares you get on social media platforms, but the laughters that circled your lips.

And remember:

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively” – Bob Marley


Csilla x


Lost in the moment

While the rain was washing the city from sins and dirt, heavy clouds covered the sky, combining light with darkness and emitting a strange wave of grey to emphasise the dullness that was already a part of the motion. Cold was slowly setting in, breaking in between warm temperatures and fuzzy winds, trying to cover the great majority of Paris’s soul in a contemplating manner. Storms were battling in the sky to come over, but the atmosphere just wouldn’t allow it.

And there she was, in the middle of all this ravaging set, standing beautiful and harmless. Dressed in a violet dress and a dark coat, holding a closed dotted umbrella under her arms, waiting for a taxi. Her wait seemed endless and a few cars stopped and horned in a failing attempt of taking her to a safe and dry place.  But she didn’t want that. Waiting for a taxi was just an excuse she used for everyone who asked her.

Her world was falling to pieces and she was afraid to let those pieces fade in the darkness of the moment. Although the cold was making her skin ivory and purple at the same time, her boiling blood and racing heart couldn’t sense the iciness of the instant.

I should carry on. My eyes are the window to my soul and I must not let it be corrupt, she thought.

For the first time in a long time, S. knew that things are going to change and adjust accordingly, she just needed time and space. But then, she remembered she had everything she needed, and yet, everything was out of ordinary. All her plans were going to waste, all her years spent for nothing.