You’re allowed to scream, but you’re not allowed to give up

 

SARA (1)

They say we should take more time to do things that make us happy. But what if being happy means you have to be sad and lonely first?

As some of you may know, I have been unemployed for over month already and, let me tell you this, it hasn’t been easy at all. I decided to resign from my position in retail, mainly because I wanted to focus more on writing and finding my path in the editorial field.

So far, it’s been damn hard.

I am not going to lie, there have been days when all I wanted to do was just shut the blinds and hide under the covers. Everybody was at work, so my social life was reduced to zero and my will to work was practically non-existent.

But, there also have been days where I’ve spent all my time writing applications, composing cover letters and re-designing my CV to match job requirements. And those are the days I am most proud of.

Many have said that being in London gave me an extra chance to get the job of my dreams and pursue the career I always wanted. But what they didn’t tell me was that it’s okay to fail, that it’s okay to have to start over, because London is also a big city. A city with a supersaturated market, where the competition is bigger than I could possibly image, and in order to get what I wanted, I need to work with all my strength, to show passion and initiative, and also, to have a little luck.

I was going the other day over my emails and applications ,and I’ve realised I’ve reached number 150, many cups of tea and coffee, hundreds of cover letter drafts and many anxiety levels.

At some point last week, I was feeling so down, I just thought ‘Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I’m not that good and maybe I am just wasting my time and theirs’. 

I closed the laptop in frustration and pushed everything aside and I cried. I don’t think I ever cried that hard in my life, nor that loud. It hid me hard and cold: you just have to keep going. 

I remember moving to London four years ago with endless dreams and started manuscripts in my bags, hoping to become the next J.K. Rowling. I was naive to think that I will just simply fit it, that it’s going to be easy, that I won’t have to fight my way through life. But now, after many stories written and read, blog posts, late night researches, interviews, life experiences, breakups, I have realised that I am enough.

I have realised that no matter what happens, I just have to keep going. I have learnt that being strong means to hold on to my own dreams and fight with everything it takes to fulfil them because at the end of the day, I will be the only one to benefit from them.

And that’s what all of you should know: that no matter where you’re from, what religion you are or what skin colour you have, you are enough in your own way. It’s not an easy fight, but it will be all worth it in the end. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey you decide to take to discover what you’re really made of.

What about you guys? How do you keep going on?

Love,

Csilla x

 

 

Advertisements

Always do what you’re afraid to do.

“Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.”
Rodolfo Costa

via From Up North

   via From Up North

Tomorrow is Monday again and I can see how as soon as I turn off my alarm, I will complain about getting out of bed, about getting ready for work. Speaking of that. I have signed my resignation letter and I have now left only two days of work. After Tuesday, I will have enough time to finish all my final projects and to launch myself into all the projects I had in mind the past months.

Living in London can be exhausting, because the work you need to do in order to pay the bills is always stressful, and after a while, you get tired and you just want to start over. That’s what happened to me, and, truth be told, I feel proud of myself for the decision I took.

In a moment of clarity, I decided to quit my part-time job as a Barista and have a fresh start. To have a time-out for about a month, and then, start the job hunting again. I have realised that taking this decision had several implications and possible collateral damages, but I have calculated everything to the last penny, and, now,  I am finally happy.

I am positive about the future. Although everyone is complaining about how hard it is to find a job in your field after graduation, I still think optimistically and believe that soon everything will be all right. Someone once told me that in order for my happiness to be complete, I’ll have to make sacrifices and leave people behind and I have never would’ve thought this will be the moment I’d say “I am finally satisfied with my decision.”

They say that dreaming about ideals and success is easy, but it takes effort and hard work in order to accomplish them. I couldn’t agree more, but in order to get to a certain destination, you have to be at peace with yourself, with your soul and with your desires.

Some of the things I recommend you do – I follow them myself- in order to have inner peace and less torment are:

1. Never, ever settle for less. You are a strong, independent human being that deserves more.

2. You are beautiful. No matter what the society says, you have a beautiful soul that resonates with

harmony.

3. Stay strong, regardless of people might do or say; you always have to keep your head lifted and keep going.

4. Always do what you’re afraid to do and you’ll win over your inner demons.

5. Stay positive. Always, stay positive.

via Pinterest

                                                              via Pinterest

Remember, even though life doesn’t always offer you the things you want, you are still entitled to happiness and good will.

P.S. Smile and all the dark clouds will fade away.

Love,

Csilla

10 things I’ve learnt from being an international student in London

As it has been a few years since I moved to London, I have realised that being here has had a greater impact on me that I first expected.

The cultural diversity and social divergence in London is greater than I’ve ever experienced and understanding the different layers on which society works has been a metamorphic process in which I have rediscovered myself and learnt that challenges can become rewards.

pexels-photo

Moving out from my parents’ house has been indeed a cathartic way to discover more about my skills and accomplishments and  how to become an adult.

Is there a precise way of learning how to be an adult? No, there isn’t. But let me tell you this: You build your own strategies and tactics in life.

1.Be aware of your and other people’s needs. 

Being nice and polite is a must, but knowing when to say ‘no’ to things is vital. Understanding that everybody comes from a different cultural and social background is essential to buildings up new relationships.

2. Meals shouldn’t be just chips and take-outs.

Learning how to cook simple meals is indispensable. Your health for the following years will rely on this and there are endless, on-budget options.

3. Think outside the box, or even better, remove the box.

Don’t get follow stereotypes. People  come from very different social backgrounds and they might have other views that yours. Carefully choose your words or you might offend/ get offended by awkward situations if you don’t act with care.

Be considerate to others.

4. Create a budget but don’t forget to have fun.

As a new person to the hustle and bustle of  London, spending money on things you don’t really need may be very easy. Keep in mind what is your monthly expenditure and try not to go overboard when shopping. You might realise you’re penniless a week after your pay-check.

5. Find a part-time job.

It can be in an office, a cafe, a restaurant, walking dogs or baby-sitting. As long as it does not interfere with your studies, go for it.

If you are lucky enough, you can get a job in your desired field and as Confucius said: “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

6. Find time for your inner peace.

Being a student and having a part-time job can be quite stressful and joggling between work and studies can bring you to the edge sometimes.

Find the time to relax and enjoy the day. Go on a 10 minutes walk just to relax, read a book, listen to your favourite band, Skype with a friend. You’d be surprised to see how much this can help.

7. Don’t forget about your roots.

Living in London can be quite transforming.

It is very easy to get lost in the abundance of new things or habits coming from other people and it is natural to want to experiment.

But, bear in mind everything you’ve learned from your parents and make sure you leave a print on the world.

8. Stay connected with what’s happening at home.

Although exploring London can be fun and filled with new experiences, you can lose track of what’s happening at home quite easily.

Being caught in the routine of studying and working you’ll realise you haven’t checked the local news from your country or you have even forgotten about the new elections coming up.

It’s vital to remain on track with information from home or else, when you go back, you’ll find yourself confused by the amount of things you missed out on.

9. Move on with your life and build new relationships

I understand how important are for you the relationships you have with your friends from home.

But as soon you leave, they move on with their lives – they still care about you – but they keep the party going.

And you should do the same.

Another thing, “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live” ( Albus Dumbledore), because you’ll end up being sad and lonely.

Get out there, meet new people and have fun!

10. Be yourself!

No matter what you do, you don’t have to live your life to please anyone.

Your decisions are yours and yours only.

No one can tell you what do and you shouldn’t be bothered by that.

It is true, you can be advised about doing certain things, but, never, ever let yourself driven by someone else’s passions.

Stay positive and learn to love yourself and people will start loving you.

Love,

Csilla

 pexels-photo (1)

How was your day?

As the sun is setting on the horizon line, I see myself meeting new faces at every step. Some of them are tired, hindered by wrinkles, hidden between layers of routine and some, some still have the strength to smile at me after a long day. People have busy lives; we spend most of our time at the office, in the cafe, in the kitchen, with the babies – mostly working – and that says a lot about us.

We work hard to strive, provide and produce.

In a society of consumerism many have forgotten to actually enjoy the day at work, to exchange a joke with the colleague across the room or even smile to the girl  in the foyer whose name is unknown.

So I’m asking you all,

How was your day?

Did you wake up with a strong sense of needing a coffee to get you going?

Or maybe you missed someone and the thought of going to work would have made it fade away?

Some of the world’s philosophers say that if you want to make time for something or someone you will, the rest is just excuses.

Yet again, someone woke up smiling today. Like I did.

I woke up – although without enough rest – grateful.  Seeing the sun rays shining through the curtains gave a feeling of belonging, a feeling of comfort. I was grateful for being in London, for managing to work my way through life, and being where are I am.

I felt positive about my goals and knew that today will be a good day.

The day that follows is as you make it.

It is very important to stay positive and always try and make things easier for you. As soon as stress gets to you, everything becomes harder to achieve and your mood becomes automatically bad.

via Pinterest
                                                         via Pinterest

These are some of my advices I always give myself:

  • You mustn’t loose your temper by paying too much attention to little things, but stay focused and try to smile and make situations better.
  • You must approach situations with a positive attitude and work towards a better understanding of body language.
  • Look people in their eyes and smile. Smile, smile, smile. Even on a bad day, someone’s good vibe can lift your spirit.
  • Remember to be gentle, polite and calm. People like that and you’ll find it yourself how much better it is to work in a tranquil environment.

And just to finish off, always bare this in mind:

“When you are joyful, when you say yes to life and have fun and project positivity all around you, you become a sun in the center of every constellation, and people want to be near you.”
Shannon L. Alder

Until next time,

Csilla x

Labelling and questioning: is society doing the right thing?

Staying always positive is not easy.

Our personalities and thoughts are making us sometimes question even the daily routine – early mornings, hard works, home chores – it’s hard to always keep a positive perspective towards everything.  Having a discussion with one my closest friends today, I have realised one thing: I spent way too much time lately being negative.

People will always have something to say about somebody else: criticising their style, talking about love-life, making fun or even empathising with others’ feelings. However, I wonder , what does that makes us as human beings?

Are we flawless? No, we’re not.

We’re functional beings that always want the best from the future, always contemplating about positive outcomes, and most of the time – I have to admit it – doing every effort to adhere to the fulfilment of those outcomes. But now, looking at some of my friends, I realise that some worry too much about society’s opinions, about the tags and labels we’ve been given.

Someone at work just said today: “Why did you dress up? Are you going somewhere special?” And then I just realised that I don’t need to give any explanation to anyone.

And no, I wasn’t dressed up because I was going somewhere special, I just wore something nicer from my wardrobe because I felt like it. Simple as that.

I don’t need to dress up to impress, I dress up to feel positive and nice.

Women are like that.They like wearing accessories, nice dresses and fancy shoes. It’s the society that teaches us that we must always stay beautiful, always to be at our best. But maybe we don’t have to. Maybe we put on something nice just for ourselves, or maybe some days we don’t feel like doing anything. If you feel comfortable in your own skin and wearing something that says that, everyone will notice. People will start smiling more at you, because you smile more often and so on.

I think that people that say ugly things about others have a darkened soul as well; there’s no mistake in that. Building confidence always relies on the structure of the soul. There are people with beautiful and innocents spirits that haven’t been altered by evil thoughts and they sparkle in the everyday life, next to us, without being a label to the society. And then, there are the other people. Those who have a beautiful soul but they let the society taint it and let it become corrupt.

It is a sad reality and unfortunately, most people don’t realise this.

You just have to be yourself, believe in your own strength and just look brightly to the future. Taking on labels and making decisions based on what other people say will just make you question your position everywhere in life and will weaken your personality.

Always step up for yourself, speak proudly and be nice to others, there’s no losing in that!

via Pinterest
                                  via      Pinterest

Until next time,

Yours truly. x