Sunday mornings and anxiety

It’s been a while (again) since I have actually sat down and written something, so here I go again with my ranting about things.

One thing, in particular.

So I’ve had to buy my tickets to fly back home yesterday, and trust me, it was no fun. Although I love traveling and I have zero issues with getting on a plane, the whole planning process before it’s a hell of a nightmare.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, it’s called Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it affects roughly about 30% of adults in their life and it basically generates excessive worrying, restlessness, muscle tension, and the symptoms usually appear during minor matters, such as, in this case, buying plane tickets.

For those of you already familiar with lovely feeling, welcome aboard, I salute you!

So, back to the point in question.

At some point yesterday afternoon I decided that it’s actually time to buy my tickets to fly home ( *la best friend is getting maaaaarried*) before they got expensive af and I was already planning this scenario in my head:

  1. Check the bank account
  2. Double-check the days you’ve booked off work
  3. Check the calendar – again
  4. Open Skyscanner
  5. Oh wait, I need to re-check the days I actually will fly out
  6. Also, where should I fly? Cluj or Debrecen? Which one is closer?
  7. Is it going to be too expensive?
  8. Breathe, breathe, breathe
  9. You’re doing fine.
  10. Breathe, breathe, breathe
  11. You can get these tickets, you’ve done it a million times before
  12. Okay, fine, let’s do this.

And then, my heart started racing like crazy, my palms were sweaty and I decided to just close off the web browser. But then I realised I ACTUALLY NEEDED TO BUY THE TICKETS, so back to the matter at hand.

After carefully calculating how much would it cost me to buy separately the tickets: one way and then return compared to a return ticket and checking the landing times, I decided I will just be reckless and book the tickets, hoping that all the personal details entered were correct and that the departing and landing times match the days in the calendar.

So, one hour and twenty minutes later, my heart stopped racing, the tickets were bought. (*YAY*). I informed la bestie that pretty much is everything sorted and that was it.

I know that this sounds a little bit exaggerating to some of you, but this is how it genuinely feels to do some of the little things in life.

For some, is just as easy as breathing, but for others, it can get quite stressful.

Are any of you feeling the same when booking traveling tickets? What is your thought process? I would love to find out!

In the mean time, just breathe.

Love,

Csilla x

Travel Trip Map Direction Exploration Planning Concept

 

You’re allowed to scream, but you’re not allowed to give up

 

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They say we should take more time to do things that make us happy. But what if being happy means you have to be sad and lonely first?

As some of you may know, I have been unemployed for over month already and, let me tell you this, it hasn’t been easy at all. I decided to resign from my position in retail, mainly because I wanted to focus more on writing and finding my path in the editorial field.

So far, it’s been damn hard.

I am not going to lie, there have been days when all I wanted to do was just shut the blinds and hide under the covers. Everybody was at work, so my social life was reduced to zero and my will to work was practically non-existent.

But, there also have been days where I’ve spent all my time writing applications, composing cover letters and re-designing my CV to match job requirements. And those are the days I am most proud of.

Many have said that being in London gave me an extra chance to get the job of my dreams and pursue the career I always wanted. But what they didn’t tell me was that it’s okay to fail, that it’s okay to have to start over, because London is also a big city. A city with a supersaturated market, where the competition is bigger than I could possibly image, and in order to get what I wanted, I need to work with all my strength, to show passion and initiative, and also, to have a little luck.

I was going the other day over my emails and applications ,and I’ve realised I’ve reached number 150, many cups of tea and coffee, hundreds of cover letter drafts and many anxiety levels.

At some point last week, I was feeling so down, I just thought ‘Maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe I’m not that good and maybe I am just wasting my time and theirs’. 

I closed the laptop in frustration and pushed everything aside and I cried. I don’t think I ever cried that hard in my life, nor that loud. It hid me hard and cold: you just have to keep going. 

I remember moving to London four years ago with endless dreams and started manuscripts in my bags, hoping to become the next J.K. Rowling. I was naive to think that I will just simply fit it, that it’s going to be easy, that I won’t have to fight my way through life. But now, after many stories written and read, blog posts, late night researches, interviews, life experiences, breakups, I have realised that I am enough.

I have realised that no matter what happens, I just have to keep going. I have learnt that being strong means to hold on to my own dreams and fight with everything it takes to fulfil them because at the end of the day, I will be the only one to benefit from them.

And that’s what all of you should know: that no matter where you’re from, what religion you are or what skin colour you have, you are enough in your own way. It’s not an easy fight, but it will be all worth it in the end. It’s not about the destination, but about the journey you decide to take to discover what you’re really made of.

What about you guys? How do you keep going on?

Love,

Csilla x

 

 

Blogs, placements and creativity with FutureRising

Originally posted on FutureRising

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Csilla Kulcsar is originally from Romania, but grew up in a Hungarian family. Interested in space travelling and language tuition, one of her dreams is to teach English or Spanish to children from disadvantaged areas. She is driven by passion, not by money, and believes in second chances as everyone learns from their mistakes in order to thrive.

WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO WANTING TO WORK IN THE CREATIVE INDUSTRIES?

Being creative has always been a part of me. As a child, I grew up in a bilingual family, so the need to master two languages was key and the only way I could do it was by being creative. The creative industries offer the option of personal development through one’s visual perspective and my desire of working in the creative industries was particularly generated by the media world. Unlike any other industries, the media world exists to deliver information and help others. And that’s what I want to do: help other people understand everything that’s happening in the world.

WHICH ADVERTISING AGENCY WOULD YOU LOVE TO WORK FOR AND WHY?

Ever since I’ve moved to London I have expanded my knowledge about the creative industries.

“…it didn’t take long until I found Grey Advertising and Thinking Juice.”

I started my search for the dream agency I’d love to work for and it didn’t take long until I found Grey Advertising and Thinking Juice. Both of them are really great agencies that deliver creative strategies and digital transformations to brands, and most importantly, they are the leading agencies in the market. By following their work I understood the necessity of delivering customer-focused content and implementing interactive methods of satisfying the audience.

WHY DID YOU START A BLOG & WHERE DO YOU FIND INSPIRATION FOR YOUR POSTS?

The idea of starting a blog came from the thought that I needed to find a voice for myself. A voice to truly represent who I am and what I do.

“..I launched myself into the great world of media and delivered my stories effectively.”

Finding inspiration is not easy, I must confess. So every time I think of writing something new, I plan ahead with a few days. My muse so far, has been the city. There’s so much in London that’s worth writing about: places, cafe’s, people, literature. And even better, I can link all this to worldwide information and write followers-focused posts.

Interviewing people from different places in the metropolis has given me another insight to what exactly it means to be part of such a great place. By doing so, I never struggle to find a new idea for the blog: I keep a journal with quotes and themes; and when I have time, I just put the pieces together.

HOW DID YOU LAND A PLACEMENT WORKING WITH LONDON AND PARTNERS?

Working with London & Partners has been my greatest achievement so far. Being an International Student Ambassador has offered me an incredible amount of information and personal development and I am really grateful for that. I was just starting my final year of studies at Middlesex University when the opportunity of being an ambassador came through.  I received an email from the Media Department saying that London and Partners are looking for an ambassador from our university; and I simply applied.

My role consisted of visiting different locations in London and blogging about them to inspire future students to come and study in London. It has been a great experience and I have been awarded the ‘Most Committed Blogger’ at the beginning of this month.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU KNOW NOW THAT YOU WISH YOU’D KNOWN EARLIER?

Yes. One of the things no one ‘warned’ me about London, was the immense cultural diversity that exists here. If I had known earlier, I would’ve moved to London ages ago! The beauty of the cultural diversity in London is that you get to know so many people from all around the world and that is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

“Understanding different cultures makes you question whether you know enough about the world…”

Understanding different cultures makes you question whether you know enough about the world surrounding you so I believe that being in London has given me the opportunity of better understand myself as well.

WHAT DO YOU GET UP TO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

When my schedule is free, I like to travel and take photos and, of course, blog about it! Travelling and writing are my passions and I would feel incomplete without them. Also, I read a lot: whatever falls to hand. From Nietzsche, Dostoyevsky, to Austen and J.K. Rowling. I am a bookworm; I even wrote my dissertation about the impact the Harry Potter books had on literature!

SELL YOURSELF. WHY SHOULD SOMEONE HIRE YOU?

I like to think of myself as a free spirit that challenges herself as much as possible.

“I am fluent in five languages, incisive when it comes to work and devoted to my causes.”

I am fluent in five languages, incisive when it comes to work and devoted to my causes. I also believe in equal rights and the importance of caring for one another; and what better way of doing so, than working in the creative industries and connecting with people.  I like exploring new things and I never just do what I am told, I always wonder about more and try to dive into the immense world of possibilities.

All good things come to an end

Time goes by very quickly, especially when you are busy.

As summer is slowly fading away, I realised that it was due for me to tell you about the LUIP closing ceremony.

As you all know, since October last year, I have been an International Student Ambassador for the London Universities International Partnership and I have achieved so many things through this programme!

I have met wonderful people, gained insight into London’s cultural and historical life – better than most people – and, to be honest, it has been the best experience since I have been in London.  But you know what they say, all good things come to an end.

This partnership has taught me so many things:

That friendships are born from the most insignificant things and that being from a different country it only shows how special people are. And because we are so special, we work our way around the world in different ways.

My fellow ambassadors were students from all around the world studying from English Literature, Nutrition, Veterinary Medicine to Business and Marketing and because of that, we grew together as a whole.

After experiencing London from a different perspective and understanding everything it has to offer, it was time to say goodbye and start our own individual paths, taking with us everything we’ve learnt.

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Fellow ambassadors with their diplomas and prizes!

Fellow ambassadors with their diplomas and prizes!

The closing ceremony was held at the Swan Bar, at the Globe Theatre, where we were delighted with cherry tarts, apple pie, lemon drizzle, and of course, prizes!

One of the other things that I’d like to share is the fact that I was awarded the ‘Most Committed Blogger’ Award and I couldn’t be more than thankful for it!

This wouldn’t have been possible without all your support, follows and comments, and of course, without Kim Duller’s ( our awesome programme leader!!) encouragement and good advices.

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I’d like to also say ‘Thank you!’ to all my fellow ambassadors for sharing their experiences and memories with me, for being such good people and for giving the world the best they have!

I hope the future brings you all the best things.

Love,

Csilla x

Visit to Google campus

In a world where technology is slowly taking control over values, ethics and morals, there is a sparkle of hope from a major corporation that intents to connect the entire planet and make internet available to everybody.

Google is known worldwide.

Even from its launch in 1996, it has reformed the meaning of online surfing and the power the Internet has so that it became the leading corporation in Internet-related services and products. Not only that, but Google offers products that are accessible for everyone, such as Gmail, Google Books ,YouTube, etc.

One of the most attractive products that leads the market is YouTube, the video-sharing website that managed to bring together music from every corner of the world.

Being an LUIP Ambassador is more than just representing Middlesex University at a national level, but also enjoy some of the  bonuses  that come along ( as many of you already know!) and this time, I visited the Google Campus o  and admired the beauty of the campus, met two brilliant vloggers, Sanne Vliegenthart and Helen Anderson, and of course, had a chance to catch up with all the fellow ambassadors and mentors.

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The View from Google Garden

After exploring the beauty of Google Campus, it was time for some more serious things and we were led into a room where we were welcomed with goodies from YouTube, snacks and drinks, and of course, a masterclass about being innovative and expanding our shareability.

YouTube goodies

                    YouTube goodies

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Our mission is to organise the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.

9 Notions for Innovation:

1 • Customer Need = Creative Inspiration
2 • Ideas come from everywhere
3 • Fail quickly and learn
4 • Allow ideas to morph
5 • Creativity loves constraint
6 • Share everything
7 • Data informs decision-making
8 • Users come first
9 • A license to pursue passions

Google’s intentions are all about connecting the people from every corner of the world and making the world a better place for everyone.

The greatness of their upcoming projects is so big, that even myself couldn’t believe some of the things that can be accomplished with enough money and power. However, in a world where competition is at stake, Google knows well its market and how to deliver the general public the required products.

 

On a different note, the discussion we had with our guest vloggers was more than inspiring. As a part-time blogger myself, I understand the necessity of filling the market in the required areas, but as they said, things can get easier if given enough time and energy.

If you are currently a blogger or you are thinking about becoming one, make sure you know your market, write with passion and just be brave enough to put yourself out there!

 

Love,

Csilla

 

LUIP Ambassadors and mentors, Google staff, Sanne Vliegenthart and Helen Anderson. Many thanks for Kim Duller for this awesome photo!

LUIP Ambassadors and mentors, Google staff, Sanne Vliegenthart and Helen Anderson.
Many thanks for Kim Duller for this awesome photo!